


Not Whole Without You

by StarkRogers135



Series: Angel!Dean Winchester series [31]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Dean Winchester, Angel Sex, Angelic Grace, Angelic Soulbond, Bottom Dean, Healing, Heaven, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Insecure Dean, Insecurity, Lucifer | Nick, M/M, Protective Castiel, Protective Lucifer, Scared Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:56:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarkRogers135/pseuds/StarkRogers135
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas goes to Heaven for a month to heal and Dean doesn't take it too kindly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Whole Without You

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A STORY. THEY ARE NOT INDIVIDUAL STORIES. IT IS ALL ONE STORY!  
> START AT "Die Trying" AND WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH IT.  
> They are suppose to be chapters, but they were put into a Series form, sorry for not telling you guys.  
> Well, Have fun!

It's been almost a week. Sam was getting worried about Dean. He never came out of his room. Sam tried to get him to come out. Even Lucifer tried to help, but nothing was working.

As long as Cas was in Heaven, Dean couldn't sense if he was alright or not. That was the scary part. He really wanted to go up there, but Dean knew he didn't have that kind of access.

"Dean, please. Come out of your room..." Sam frowned as he knocked on the door lightly.

"Le've me 'lone." Dean said into Cas's pillow, hugging it tightly.

"Fine..." Sam sighed then left the door.

Lucifer looked at Sam, "You might have to give him some more time."

Dean buried his face into the pillow, gripping it tightly until his knuckles were white.

"It's been a whole week, Lucifer," Sam frowned and sat on the couch, burying his hands into his own hair. "How much longer does he need before he begins to starve or dehydrate?"

Lucifer sat down beside Sam, rubbing the tall man's back soothingly. "I don't know..."

Sam frowned. "I know Dean can't sense Cas because he can't tune in on Heaven radio, or whatever," Sam sighed, "but can you since you're technically still an angel?"

Lucifer shook his head, "I'm sorry, Sam. I can't. When I fell, I was cut off from all Heaven."

"Dammit." Sam cursed roughly, hiding his face into his hands.

Lucifer frowned, moving some of Sam's hair behind his ear, "Maybe he'll be better in the morning. We just have to wait and see, okay?" He said softly.

Sam looked up and blinked. "What if he isn't better?" he asked worriedly. "He hasn't eaten nor slept. His body may shut down. Angel or no angel."

Lucifer sighed and shook his head, "I believe he'll be okay."

"I'm just saying it as a "what if" scenario, Lucifer, alright?" Sam huffed.

"Well, it would be bad. That's all I can think of." Lucifer frowned.

Sam sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. He was tired and it was getting late as it is. He wanted Dean to try and eat something before he went to sleep first. It didn't even have to be a lot. Some damn _crackers_ would be enough for Sam to go with!

"You're going to hurt yourself if you keep worrying like this, Sam."

"Dean's no better, Luc'." Sam narrowed his eyes.

"Doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself." Lucifer frowned.

"How am I hurting myself?" Sam mumbled. "I've been sleeping."

"Thinking. Thinking too much. It honestly can hurt you. People joke about it, but it's true. It's what causes most headaches."

"I just don't want my brother killing himself over this just because he can't sense Cas." Sam mumbled and leaned against Lucifer's chest.

"I don't think he would do that." Lucifer shook his head, smoothing out Sam's hair.

"I don't mean literally." Sam rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"I'm not saying Dean will literally kill himself, Lucifer." Sam mumbled quietly.

"Really? He kinda looks like he would." Lucifer nodded then winced when he was hit in the arm. "Ow."

"Not funny," Sam scowled. "Even though you have a beef with him, try to be considerate."

Lucifer narrowed his eyes then proceeded to nod, "For you. Fine."

"Just until Cas gets back." Sam murmured, fighting back a yawn.

"You're tired. I can sense that...You need sleep." Lucifer looked down at the tall man, who was still resting against him.

"Dean needs sleep, too." Sam whined.

"I could possibly pop in there and put him to sleep?" Lucifer offered.

" _I_ wouldn't mind but I'm not so sure about Dean." Sam frowned.

"Who cares what he thinks? What, is he going to have an angel blade in there ready to stab me or something?"

"It-It's possible," Sam murmured. "He keeps a weapon on him no matter what."

"Well, it's worth a shot, right?" Lucifer shrugged.

"Just don't kill yourself..." Sam mumbled.

Lucifer sighed then appeared in Dean's room, "D-" He screeched when he saw the angel blade at his stomach and reappeared next to Sam with wide eyes. "You heard nothing."

Sam giggled, trying to resist laughing out loud. "I think I did." he smiled.

"No. Hush. You didn't hear a thing!" Lucifer shook his head.

Sam grinned. "I di-id~" he hummed in a sleepy, sing-song voice, nuzzling Lucifer's chest.

Lucifer glared at the tall man, "Just sleep."

Sam chuckled. "Fine..." he grumbled and closed his eyes, letting a yawn out.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and slouched in the couch for Sam to get comfortable.

A few minutes later, Sam was out like a light. Whenever he'd have a nightmare about Jess, tears would always bud up and he would move in the slightest, but uncomfortably.

Lucifer watched Sam sleep and kept a hand on the man's side to sooth the nightmares away whenever they came.

Sometimes, his dreams got so bad, he actually woke up a few times in the middle of the night, panting and in a cold sweat, looking around.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. It's okay." Lucifer frowned, trying to sooth Sam back to sleep. He couldn't understand why nothing was helping him.

Sam gripped Lucifer's shirt. "W-Without going in, can you tell if Dean is asleep or not?" he asked shakily.

Lucifer closed his eyes then sighed, "He's not asleep."

"Of course," Sam mumbled. "What's he doing?"

"Hugging Cas's pillow...again."

Sam frowned. "Figures..."

"Just go back to sleep, Sam." Lucifer said with a small smile, stroking Sam's hair softly.

Sam sighed and nuzzled Lucifer's chest, closing his eyes again.

Lucifer smiled slightly and kept slowly and gently stroking the tall man's hair.

The next morning when Sam woke up, he looked to Dean's room and saw it still shut. "He's gonna get sick if he doesn't eat or sleep." Sam frowned.

Lucifer looked at the door then down at Sam, "Well, he started to doze off, but jerked awake and splashed water on his face. He's been drinking to keep awake. He doesn't get drunk. That's actually impressive." He nodded.

"He's a half-angel. Of course he won't get drunk," Sam mumbled. "I'm just worried."

"Then how did Castiel get drunk?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

"When?" Sam mumbled and rested his chin on Lucifer's chest, looking up at him.

"Well, you should remember. He came to you. He was saying things about, 'it means you breed with the mouth of a goat'." Lucifer laughed lightly. "He was pretty smashed." He moved away some of Sam's hair out of his face, putting it behind his ear.

"I think he fell but somehow got his Grace back." Sam murmured.

"No, Sam." Lucifer sighed. "Anyway, I don't think your brother can get drunk. Angel or not."

"What do you mean, angel or not?" Sam mumbled.

"Well, nothing bad by it, but he drinks alot and as much as he drinks, he doesn't get drunk by it. Haven't you notice?" Lucifer tilted his head a bit, looking down at Sam.

"He's part angel, Lucifer," Sam repeated. "He _won't_ get drunk."

"Yeah, okay." Lucifer sighed.

"What?" Sam muttered, frowning.

"Nothing, Sam." Lucifer shook his head.

"Fine." Sam huffed stubbornly.

Lucifer rolled his eyes, "Stubborn as usual."

"Yup." Sam smirked lightly.

Lucifer shook his head with a smile.

Throughout the rest of the day, Dean _still_ didn't do anything to help himself besides drink more to keep himself awake.

"Maybe we can just throw a bag of chips or crackers at him and tell him to eat." Lucifer shrugged. "I have a good arm."

Sam rolled his eyes. "He's not an animal." he muttered.

"And? We have to get him to eat somehow!" Lucifer crossed his arms over his cheat, standing in the corner of the room while Sam was on the laptop.

Sam sighed, rubbing his face. "I dunno, Luc'." he said.

Lucifer frowned watching the other man. He didn't like to see Sam like this. He was starting to get worried that Sam is going to end up hurting himself trying to get Dean to eat and sleep, "What are you looking at on the computer?" He walked over and stood behind Sam and bent down, resting his chin on Sam's shoulder.

Sam shrugged. "Cases," Sam sighed. "Not finding any, though..."

"Why not?" Lucifer turned his head slightly to look at Sam.

Sam shrugged again. "I dunno." he said.

Lucifer looked back at the computer then picked it up by the top, "How the hell do you work this thing?"

Sam laughed and took his laptop back before Lucifer could start shaking it. "Very tenderly." he grinned.

Lucifer scowled, "Why'd you take it away?"

"I had the feeling you were about to start shaking it and I didn't want it to break." Sam smirked and set it down, gently pulling Lucifer into his lap.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and pulled the computer to himself, "Now...How do I work this thing?"

Before Sam could answer, he heard a soft flutter of wings and looked up, seeing Cas. "Hey," he smiled. "How you feeling?"

"Better. I've been gone a month, haven't I?" Cas raised an eyebrow then looked at Lucifer who was in Sam's lap still playing on the computer.

Sam bit his lip nervously, glancing at Lucifer before back at Cas. "Yeah," he mumbled. "You were gone for a month." Sam looked at Dean's locked door warily. "Not a good one, either."

Cas looked at the door and nodded then disappeared. He reappeared in Dean's room and looked at the hunter, "Dean."

Even though Dean drank a lot, he couldn't get hungover since he was part angel. Dean looked up with reddened eyes at the angel above him. Dean jumped up into Cas's arms and wrapped his legs tightly around him, burying his face into his mate's neck.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and gripped the back of the hunter's jacket, "I'm sorry."

"I-I couldn't sense you, I didn't know if you were alright or not, Lucifer didn't know, I-" Dean was cut off from his rant by Cas kissing him deeply, Dean gripping Cas's hair.

Cas kissed his mate deeply, pushing him back on the bed and climbing on top of him, kissing him more.

Dean desperately clung to Cas, wrapping his legs around him and panted, opening his mouth up to Cas, moaning.

Cas bucked his hips down against his mate, moaning softly.

"C-Cas..." Dean keened, throwing his head back. Dean panted as he felt teeth graze his neck, feeling Cas's warm and wet tongue flick out, bucking up.

Cas moaned hard and panted, sucking and kissing dark marks here and there on his mate's neck.

Dean groaned, panting and groaning roughly, moaning Cas's name.

Cas panted and removed Dean's shirt, bending down to kiss the skin.

Dean moaned, fumbling with the buttons on Cas's shirt. "Off..." Dean all but growled in arousal and want.

Cas unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way and smirked down at Dean before kissing him deeply, fucking his tongue into his mate's mouth.

Dean moaned loudly, splaying his hands over Cas's well toned skin, dragging his nails down Cas's back.

Cas moaned hard, bucking his hips against his mate's, desperately.

Dean bit Cas's lower lip hard, fumbling with Cas's belt as they continued to rub against each other desperately, moaning hungrily as he sucked on Cas's tongue.

Cas moaned loudly and quickly removed Dean's belt, panting.

"Fuck..." Dean panted, biting Cas's jaw as he tried to get Cas's pants off, growling in frustration.

Cas groaned roughly and panted, moving out of his dress pants and tried to get Dean's pants off.

Dean panted thickly, nipping Cas's ear, as he squirmed out of his pants, moaning at the friction.

Cas bit harshly at his mate's neck and panted, kissing the bite mark to soothe the pain.

"Fuck, Cas..." Dean huffed out roughly, bucking up hard.

Cas moaned loud and hard against Dean's neck then bit the skin harshly again.

Dean groaned, feeling close to his release, hips stuttering slightly.

Cas bucked his hips against his mate's hard and came with a very loud, drawn out moan.

Lucifer blinked and turned his head towards the bedroom door, "Oh my, Castiel."

Dean suddenly came in his boxers with a moan, panting hard and roughly.

Cas panted hard and groaned, kissing his mate softly on the lips.

Dean tangled his fingers in Cas's dark hair, running his hands up and down Cas's sides.

Cas pulled away and smiled down at his mate, nuzzling his cheek gently with his nose.

Dean smiled and held Cas. "I was scared..." Dean mumbled in dark hair.

"Why? I was being healed, Dean." Cas nuzzled against his mate's neck.

"I couldn't sense you got a whole month, Cas..." Dean mumbled, stroking Cas's shoulder with his thumb.

"And you haven't been taking care of yourself, have you...?" Cas frowned.

Dean closed mouth, narrowing his eyes, going silent. He didn't want to reply.

"Dean." Cas sat up and looked at his mate.

Dean kept his eyes down, trying to resist Cas lifting his head up.

Cas cleaned them up with his Grace and stood, "Dean, look at me."

Dean gripped the clean bed sheets, fighting back tears. He didn't. He refused.

Cas frowned and sat next to his mate, "Dean, please."

Finally, Dean looked up, obviously hesitant to do so.

"Tell me. Have you or have you not?" Cas frowned.

Dean swallowed hard. "N-No..." he said shakily.

Cas scowled, "Why?"

Dean was silent again, narrowing his eyes.

"Because I was gone?"

"Because I was scared and felt insecure." Dean said quietly.

"Dean, you shouldn't be scared or insecure. You need to take care of yourself. Besides," Cas frowned, "one day, I'm not going to be around to take care of you anymore."

"What do you mean, you won't won't be around anymore?" Dean asked weakly.

"I'm meaning that I one day...might be killed for my actions." Cas murmured.

"I won't let anything happen." Dean said firmly, looking up.

"You can't always protect me! I can take care of myself, Dean!" Cas snapped, but not intentionally.

Dean winced, biting his lower lip hard. "Sorry..." he said quietly.

Cas frowned then made a whining sound, "I didn't mean to snap."

Dean swallowed. "I-I know..." he said quietly.

Cas moved over to his mate and pressed his forehead against his, "Forgive me?"

Dean swallowed and pressed against Cas. "Yeah." he said shakily.

Cas smiled slightly, "I love you."

"Love you, too..." Dean said quietly, nosing into Cas's neck.


End file.
